Which of these headlines is most likely to spur you to sign up for a webinar?

New webinar helps managers improve productivity

Or:

Get all your work done in half the time, be the office hero and go home early

The first focuses on the webinar. But the second one focuses on me doing things. That makes the second one more compelling.

Want to watch your words get shorter, your sentences sleeker? See your passive voice disappear and your readability soar? Energize your writing?  Populate it with real, live humans? Focus on benefits instead of features?

Use the active voice in writing. In other words, write about people doing things.

Why use the active voice in writing?

When you write about people doing things, you:

1. Activate passive sentences. You know the difference between active and passive voice:
   • In a sentence written in passive voice, the subject is acted upon by the object. Object verb subject.
   • In a sentence written in active voice, the subject performs the action. Subject verb object.

That’s important: Writing in the active voice helps people read sentences faster, understand them more easily, remember them longer and enjoy the process more.

People doing things — Subject verb object — is the structure of the active voice. So turn passive-voice sentences into active-voice sentences by writing about people doing things:

No: Mortgage payments must be made …

Yes: Homeowners must make mortgage payments …

2. Improve readability. Writing in the passive voice also makes sentences and words longer and reduces readability. Take this passage:
No: Medicaid eligibility is organized by category or population each of which has different rules for how much income and resources you can have. For the most part, only citizens and qualified immigrants can qualify. The largest Medicaid categories covering most eligible individuals are Children under age 19, Parents raising children under age 19, Pregnant Women, Individuals 65 and older, and Persons with Disabilities.
The subjects of these sentences are Medicaid, citizens and categories. Write about people doing things, and you make messages easy to read:
Yes: Are you eligible for Medicaid? That depends on who you are, how high your income is and how many other resources you have. The largest groups of people who qualify for Medicaid are:
• Children under 19
• Parents raising children under 19
• Pregnant women
• People 65 and older
• People with disabilities

The difference in readability between writing about Medicaid and writing about you? Sentences are 73% shorter; words, 111% shorter; and Flesch Reading Ease is up 192%.

How to use the active voice in writing

The Little Red Schoolhouse writing course recommends that you:

1. Use the simple sentence structure: Subject verb object. Think of your sentences as short stories with clearly identifiable characters acting concretely.

   No: Its failure could affect vehicle directional control, particularly during heavy brake application.

   Yes: You won’t be able to steer when you put on the brakes.

2. Make subjects humans. Write about people doing things, not about things doing things.

   No: Growth occurred in Pinocchio’s nose when lies were told by him to Geppetto.

   Yes: Pinocchio’s nose grew longer when he lied to Geppetto.

3. Write in verbs, not nouns. Nix nominalizations, or words that turn verbs (like explain) into nouns (like explanation).
   No: Our expectation was for a National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) ruling that management interference with the strike or harassment of picketing workers was not permitted.

   OK, that one’s been through the De-Verb-O-Rizer a few times! Look at the verbs buried in those nouns: expectation, ruling, interference, harassment.

   Don’t commit verbicide. Write about people doing things:

   Yes: We expected the National Labor Relations Board (NLRB) to rule that management could not interfere with the strike or harass picketing workers.

Active voice in action

Wendy Jorgensen increased readability of this message by 40%, mostly by focusing on people doing things.

Here’s the City of Plano senior marketing and communication coordinator’s before:

Note that 70% of these sentences focus on things doing things, not on people doing things.

Here’s Wendy’s after:

This time, 92% of the sentences focus on things doing things, not on people doing things. What a difference in readability that makes. By writing about people doing things, Wendy:

• Whittled word count by 13%.
• Slashed paragraph length by 68%.
• Streamlined sentences by 45%.
• Reduced syllables per word.
• Reduced Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level by 38%.
• Increased Flesch Reading Ease by 40%.

Want results like these for your own message? Use the active voice in writing. Write about people doing things.

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Want to write better, easier and faster? Get clicked, read, liked and shared? Otherwise boost your writing skills?

As we plan our upcoming Master Classes, I’ve been creating a lot of new slides. Here’s a sneak peek at some of my favorites.

1. Make messages colorful with concrete details. Fun facts and juicy details might seem like the Cheez Doodles and Cronuts of communication: tempting, for sure, but a little childish and not particularly good for you.

But in fact they boost understanding, increase credibility, help people remember your message and move people to act. Add color to every piece you write with these nutritious elements.

2. Put your effort up top. Most writers spend very little time getting ready to write, more time writing and the most time fixing what they’ve written. But comma-jockeying ain’t writing, and the result is some pretty tepid prose. Write Better, Easier and Faster when you turn the writing process on its head.

3. Stop agonizing over the right length for your blog post. Over-the-counter tools like SEMRush analyze successful posts to let you know what Google will rank for your search term. Get word length, keywords to use, readability levels and more. Plus, find out how many words people really read on social media channels.

4. Lead with the benefits … substantiate with the features. Write about what readers can do with your products, services, programs and ideas — not about the products, services, programs and ideas themselves. The result: You’ll draw readers in and move them to act.

5. Are you addressing your email envelope? Recipients use four elements — the sender, subject line, preheader text and preview pane — to decide whether to open or delete your email or report it as spam. So if you’re just crafting your subject line, you’re ignoring 75% of the elements that readers use to determine whether to open.

To increase open rates, address all four elements of the envelope — not just the subject line.

6. Avoid the worst news release quote clichés. We know your VP is overcome with emotion over your latest Whatzit. But instead of quoting executives about how delighted, pleased, excited and thrilled they are, write how users are benefitting from your product, service, program or idea. The result: sound bites journalists will use and readers will read.

7. Reach readers where they are, not where you wish they were. Most Americans have basic or below-basic reading skills. That means that if you write at the 11th-grade reading level, you’ll miss 97% of Americans. Use readability statistics to make your message easier to read — for all of your audience members.

8. People spend half the time on your webpage when they’re using a smartphone. To get the message across on the small screen, write shorter paragraphs, sentences and words. Are you getting your message across on the mobile web?

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Want to write better stories? More persuasive messages? Otherwise boost your writing skills?

As we plan our upcoming Master Classes, I’ve been creating a lot of new slides. Here’s a sneak peek at some of my favorites:

1. Make the important interesting. It’s not enough that your message be important. To get attention, you need to make those important messages interesting. So use storytelling, metaphor, wordplay and other creative techniques.

2. Don’t forget to prewrite. Getting ready to write is the most important step in the writing process. But too many writers gloss over it — or worse, skip it altogether. So before you hit the keyboard, conduct research, develop your story angle and organize your piece. You’ll soon find yourself Writing Better, Easier and Faster.

3. Write content that’s relevant, valuable and interesting. That’s what people read and share. Are you writing content-marketing pieces that make readers laugh or that help them live their lives better? Or are you just blah-blahing about your latest widget?

4. Reach nonreaders with words. “Readers” read, on average, 20% of the words on a webpage, according to the Nielsen Norman Group. So how do you reach nonreaders with words?

Pass The Skim Test. Make sure readers can get the gist of your message without reading a single paragraph. That means embedding key messages in headlines, decks, subheads, links, lists, bold-faced lead-ins and other display copy.

5. Tailor, don’t just personalize, subject lines. For higher open rates, go beyond, “Hey, Ann.” So add a second data point to your subject line. That will multiply your campaign success by 10 times, according to Eloqua.

6. Make sound bites sound better. One-quarter of journalists rank quotes the least important element in a news release — after the boilerplate and the dateline. Make your sound bites more compelling by focusing on the end user.

7. Half of your audience members can’t read at the 8th-grade level. Write at that level, and you’ll miss 50% of your readers. To reach all of your readers, however well they read, hit Flesch Reading Ease of 60 to 70.

8. Front-load your web heads. On search engine results pages, newsrooms and other story lists, people read only the first couple of words of your headline. If they don’t get your key message, chances are, they won’t click.

So draw readers in by front-loading your web headlines. Move the topic to the top of your headline so readers get the gist of your message in the first 11 characters.

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My favorite writing quote? Ever?

“For 40-odd years in this noble profession,
I’ve harbored a guilt and my conscience is smitten.
So here is my slightly embarrassed confession —
I don’t like to write, but I love to have written.”

— Michael Kanin, screenwriter of “Woman of the Year” and other movies

I like it so much, I had it engraved on my iPad.

Here are eight other awesome quotes about writing:

1. People spend, on average, 11 seconds on an email blast. So how long should your email be? Your email newsletter? Your subject line? Your links? Get Ann’s email-writing best practices.

2. The more you say, the less they read. The more you say, the less they buy. The more you say, the worse decisions they make. Stop the data dumping. Don’t tell people everything you know: Tell them exactly what they need to know. Get Ann’s readability best practices.

3. And there’s a great big I in TwItter. Don’t let your social media efforts become one big selfie stick. Instead, focus on your friends, fans and followers. There’s a reason You is the most retweeted word in the English language. Get Ann’s content marketing-writing best practices.

4. Want to grab people’s attention and move them to act? The secret of persuasive writing is to position your information in the readers’ best interest. Instead of yammering on about Us and our stuff, focus on the reader’s needs. Get Ann’s persuasive-writing best practices.

5. Humans are wired for story. Storytelling is “the most powerful form of human communication,” according to Peg C. Neuhauser, author of Corporate Legends and Lore. So … how do your storytelling superpowers stack up? Get Ann’s storytelling best practices.

6. Me, too, Mr. Liebling. What tricks do you have to help you write better, easier and faster? Get Ann’s best practices for the writing process.

7. Journalists rank PR quotes as the least valuable thing in a release — below the boilerplate and dateline. So how can you transform lame-ass quotes into snappy sound bites? Get Ann’s PR-writing best practices.

8. More than half of your visitors look at your web pages on their smartphones, not their laptops. Problem is, it’s 48% harder to understand information on mobile. People read more slowly, spend less time on, and click less often on the small screen. So … how do you get your message across? Get Ann’s best practices for writing for mobile.

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