Want to change readers’ minds? Help them see your position.

That’s what two researchers at the University of Michigan did in a 1986 experiment. For the experiment, participants played the role of jurors in a trial over whether a mother, “Mrs. Johnson,” was fit to care for her 7-year-old son.

“The soul never thinks without an image.”

— Aristotle, Greek philosopher

All of participants heard 16 arguments — eight positive and eight negative — about Mrs. Johnson. But half of the subjects heard vivid examples of the arguments for her; the other half heard vivid examples of the arguments against her. For instance:

What a difference a detail makes. Subjects who heard the vivid arguments for Mrs. Johnson — the Darth Vader toothbrush — were 15% more likely to find her to a suitable parent (5.8 on a 10-point scale) than subjects who heard the unfavorable arguments in vivid detail (4.3 out of 10).

Tap the power of concrete language.

Why is a concrete writing style so effective?

“We tend to have a better memory for things that excite our senses or appeal to our emotions than for straight facts and dry statistics,” writes Sheena Iyengar, professor at Columbia Business School, in The Art of Choosing.

“You might overestimate the number of times your colleague wore a red tie, or underestimate how often he wore a gray one, simply because red is a brighter color.”

— Sheena Iyengar, in The Art of Choosing

“This means that you might overestimate the number of times your colleague wore a red tie, or underestimate how often he wore a gray one, simply because red is a brighter color.”

In short, “vividly presented information is more impactful than pallid information,” write the researchers, Jonathan Shedler and Melvin Manis.

So use vivid word pictures to move readers to act.

Concrete details move readers to give.

Another study shows that vivid stories are more effective at moving people to act than abstract ideas.

For the study, psychological scientists Laura Blackie and Philip Cozzolino of the University of Essex:

• Asked one-third of their subjects open-ended questions about death in general
• Told one-third a vivid scenario in which they were trapped and dying in a burning apartment (“You run to the door and reach for the handle. You pull back in pain as the intense heat of the knob scalds you violently …”)
• Had one-third think about dental pain

Then the subjects read one of two news stories: one saying that blood donations were at record lows, the other saying that they were at record highs. Finally, researchers offered subjects a pamphlet guaranteeing fast registration at a blood center and told them to take the pamphlet if they intended to give.

People who’d thought about death in the abstract were more likely to take the pamphlet if they’d read the story about the blood shortage. But those who’d visualized their own death in concrete terms were likely to take the pamphlet regardless of how badly blood was needed.

Bottom line: People who’d conjured vivid images about death were more motivated to give than those who had pondered death in the abstract.

Concrete terms outperform abstract terms.

Other research shows that concrete details work because they:

• Provide greater emotional interest and have a greater impact on judgments than bland presentations of the same information.
• Make warnings more effective. Vivid scenarios and anecdotes make warnings more effective than bland numbers do (Hendrickx, Vlek and Oppewal, 1989).
• Linger longer in the reader’s mind. In one study, vivid, emotional and interesting information helped readers decide to avoid problem drinking. That impact grew over time; the impact of bland information weakened over time (Sherer and Rogers, 1984).

To move people to act, show, don’t tell.

___

Sources: “How Thinking About Death Affects Behavior,” TS-SI.org, May 22, 2011

“People who dwell on their own mortality ‘are more likely to donate to charity,’” MailOnline, May 23, 2011

Laura E. R. Blackie and Philip J. Cozzolino, “Of Blood and Death: A Test of Dual-Existential Systems in the Context of Prosocial Intentions,” Psychological Science, July 2011

Roger Dooley, “Vivid Stories Change Donor Behavior,” Neuromarketing, Sept. 6, 2011

Chip Heath and Dan Heath, Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, Random House, 2007, pp. 138-139

Wray Herbert, “OST Update: The Grim Reaper Revisited,” Wray’s Blog, July 21, 2011

Jonathan Shedler and Melvin Manis, “Can the Availability Heuristic Explain Vividness Effects?” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1986, Vol. 51, No. 1, pp. 26-36

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Hey, we know. Thanksgiving was so November 2015. But we couldn’t resist sharing these delicious holiday messages from two of our brilliant clients.

Go specific, not general.

So what if you don’t have a Cousin Bobby, your Grandma doesn’t knit and nobody in your family would touch a Werther’s with a North Pole? The writing pros at Toyota know that specifics, not generalities, engage readers.

So how did Toyotans respond?

“We have been FLOODED with positive feedback,” writes Nan Banks, senior manager of Strategic Planning for Toyota Motor North America, Inc. “I swear, about half the folks who have opened it have responded with good comments and thank-yous! I think it is our best effort to date to engage team members in sharing social content and in giving our readers content they can really use.”

Which came first, the turkey or the egg?

My brilliant clients at Whole Foods not only write concrete, creative copy about raw turkey and unmashed potatoes — they do it year after year and make it fit on a sticker. Here are some of their messages from a recent Thanksgiving:

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Three professors from Texas A&M University and the University of the Andes aimed to find out whether concrete images or abstract images were more understandable.

First, the professors (Sadoski, Goetz and Rodriguez, 2000) crafted a series of passages. Each passage was 56 words long and written at about the same level of readability.

Half of the passages were abstract:

The other half were concrete:

Then the researchers asked 40 graduate students to read the passages and rate them for how interesting and easy to understand they were.

The students rated the concrete copy more interesting and understandable.

1. Concrete detail is easier to understand.

In fact, there was almost a one-to-one correlation between how concrete a passage was and how easy it was to understand, the researchers said.

Next, the researchers wrote a series of abstract and concrete headlines for each of the 56-word passages. They included:

Then they asked the graduate students to rate the headlines for how interesting and easy to understand they were.

The students rated the concrete headlines much more understandable and interesting.

“Using more concrete language and content,” Sadoski, Goetz and Rodriguez write, “should have positive effects in making … text more comprehensible, interesting and memorable.”

Concrete headlines are also more memorable.

2. Vivid descriptions boost learning.

We’ve known this for years.

In the early 19th century, German philosopher Johann Friedrich Herbart said that interest leads to understanding, learning and memory — and even inspires readers to learn more.

For some 200 years, researchers, philosophers and communicators have found Herbart’s link between interest and learning to be true.

One of those researchers is Suzanne Hidi, associate member at the Ontario Institute for Studies in Education’s Centre for Applied Cognitive Science. She reviewed the research connecting interest with learning.

“Interesting copy,” Hidi found, is:

• Concrete. Concrete images show instead of tell, turning ideas into things. They are also filled with action and images.
• Emotional. Concrete imagery includes human interest, narrative action and “life themes” readers can identify with.
• Novel. Concrete detail is surprising or unexpected.

Here, for instance, are some of the concrete, interesting sentences that researchers have studied:

• The huge gorilla smashed the bus with its fist. (Anderson, 1982)
• When a Click Beetle is on its back, it flips itself into the air and lands right side up while it makes a clicking noise. (Garner et al., 1989)
• When a fly moves its wings about 200 times in a second, you hear a buzzing sound. (Garner et al., 1989)
• No advertising is allowed on Swedish television, and there are no commercial stations. (Hidi & Baird, 1983)
• Adult wolves carry food home in their stomachs and bring it up again or regurgitate it for the young cubs to eat. It’s the wolf version of canned baby food. (Hidi & Baird, 1983)
• Thomas Edison became the most famous inventor of all time even though he left school when he was only 6 years old. (Hidi & Baird, 1988)
• A canary can also bluff by playing dead. A frightened canary may go limp in someone’s hand. (Hidi & Baird, 1983)
• The Battle of Trafalgar was the greatest naval victory in British history, and it was the war for Great Britain. (Wade & Adams, 1990)
• [Lady Emma Hamilton] fell in love with the battered, one-eyed, one-armed naval hero and became his mistress. (Wade & Adams, 1990)

Concrete imagery, according to Hidi’s review of the literature:

• Encourages reading (Hidi & Baird, 1986).
• Improves comprehension (Hidi & Baird, 1986; Bernstein, 1955).
• Boosts learning (Hidi & Baird, 1986; Shirey and Reynolds, 1988).
• Increases recall (Hidi & Baird, 1988).
• Helps people come up with bigger, better, more creative ideas (Bernstein, 1955).

Nearly 45 years of research proves it: Concrete details help readers understand; abstract images aren’t so helpful. For instance:

• The entire incoming first-year class of a college participated in a study where researchers rewrote passages from American history textbooks to make them more concrete. Students understood the revised, concrete passages much better than the original ones. They also rated the revised passages significantly more interesting (Wharton, 1980).
• Students understood and remembered concrete words (PDF) better than abstract language. Concrete words included aisle, ceremony, scene and pile. Abstract ones included pride, theory, time and truth (Sadoski, Goetz, Stricker and Burdenski, 2003).
• Students understood the plot and theme of a story better if the words painted a mental picture of a key event in the story. (Sadoski 1983, 1985).
• Undergraduates understood history textbook passages better when the message was more concrete and full of images. They also found concrete passages much more interesting. (Wharton).
• Abstract language is more vague, and that makes it harder to understand and remember, researchers have found. (B.J. O’Neill and Allan Paivo).

So how can you make your abstract ideas concrete?

3. Word pictures boost understanding by 43%.

Readers don’t understand abstract words — those that refer to ideas — very well, according to a study by Prabu David and Jagdeep Kang. But, according to the study, if you:

• Use concrete, visual words — words that paint pictures in readers’ heads — you can increase understanding by 43%.
• Add an actual picture to a word picture, you can increase understanding by 76%.

For the study, researchers used an infographic and accompanying text from a USA Today article about the effects of nicotine on the body. They tested abstract copy and concrete copy and found that word pictures increased understanding dramatically.

Why? Because concrete imagery — word pictures — paint pictures in your readers’ minds.

Help readers see with concrete information.

That’s no surprise. After all, we say “I see” to mean “I understand.”

So help them see.

Turn ideas into things: Make your message more vivid and visual with concrete information, and people will literally see what you mean.

Are you turning ideas into things? Or are you hoping to gain understanding with abstractions?

____

Sources:

Suzanne Hidi, “Interest and Its Contribution as a Mental Resource for Learning,” Review of Educational Research, Winter 1990, Vol. 60, No. 4, pp. 549-571

Prabu David and Jagdeep Kang, “Pictures, High-Imagery News Language and News Recall,” Newspaper Research Journal, Summer 1998

Mark Sadoski, Ernest T. Goetz and Maximo Rodriguez, “Engaging Texts: Effects of Concreteness on Comprehensibility, Interest, and Recall in Four Text Types.” Journal of Educational Psychology 92, 2000, pp. 85-95

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Which personal finance story would draw you in? One that starts:

Or one with this lead, from Northern Update, the marketing magazine of Northern Funds:

The latter? Me, too.

Name names and number numbers. Draw attention to your message and prove your points with numerical detail.

1. How big is big?

Show readers size and scale with statistics and comparison.

Here’s a before example, the lead of a content marketing piece a client sent me to edit:

There’s a number in there, but it’s not used to build the story, set the scene or make a point. Here’s the after, this time with more statistical evidence to make a point about the client’s project:

2. How small is small?

So how small is small? Is it the size of a thumbnail? An iPhone? A toaster? A backpack? A car?

Help readers see size and scale with comparison.

In this before, the client had included a laptop analogy, but buried it further in the story:

But if the whole point is size, lead with that. Here’s my rewrite:

How wet is wet?

If your point is “prone to flooding,” then make that point statistically. Here’s another before, from that same client:

OK, my basement is prone to flooding, too. But how wet is wet? Here’s my rewrite, supplemented with 6 minutes of online research:

Add concrete detail with statistics.

Startling statistics are amongst more than 6 types of concrete material to try.

“If you want to be credible, be specific,” writes Doug Williams, a principal in Tomasini-W2K. “Heinz doesn’t have a ‘multitude’ of varieties; it has 57. Bressler’s doesn’t have a ‘whole lot’ of flavors; it has 33. There aren’t ‘many’ deadly sins; there are seven.

“Well, eight, if you count vague writing.”

How can you make your message more colorful and credible with statistics?

What questions do you have about using statistics in your message?

Learn more about writing with statistics.

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Google: It may be the next best thing to being there.

The best way to get description is to go to the scene and observe. The second best way to get description: Whatever gets the job done.

Which — when editing a story about something that happened many, many months ago in a country many, many time zones away — often means Google.

Here are two examples, from stories I recently edited for a client:

1. Robin Hood caps and sloganeering

For this story, the client got right to the point in a newsy lead: We helped ensure security for everyone involved at the G20 Summit.

But if you’ve written a good headline and deck, your readers already know that. Better to start with the problem, then bring it to life through scene setting so people can see what a big deal it was to accomplish this mission.

To set this scene, I simply reviewed news coverage of the event online.

Research time: 15 minutes.

2. ‘More than a mile into the sky’

In this piece, again, scene setting not only grabs attention but also helps illustrate the problem the organization helped its client solve. Details, again, via Google.

Research time: 15 minutes.

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When it comes to interest and understanding, Countertop Gadgets are better than Domestic Devices.

Favorite Junk outperforms Preferred Items. How a Plane Flies beats The Laws of Lift. And Jungles in Ice trounces A Science Find. (Sadoski, Goetz and Rodriguez, 2000).

That’s because concrete words and phrases, according to some 60 years of research, encourage reading; boost comprehension; improve learning; aid memory; and help people come up with bigger, better, more creative ideas.

Abstract words and phrases do not.

“The soul never thinks without an image,” Aristotle famously said. Pulitzer Prize-winning poet William Carlos Williams agreed, saying, “No ideas but in things.”

Want to make your message more interesting and accessible? Illustrate ideas through things.

Paint concrete word pictures. Name names and number numbers.

1. Word pictures boost understanding by 43%.

When researchers Prabu David and Jagdeep Kang wanted to see whether concrete messages were more understandable and memorable, they tested concrete and abstract phrases.

Abstract:

Concrete:

The results? The concrete copy was 43% easier to understand and remember.

Why? Because concrete copy — word pictures — paint pictures in your readers’ minds. Those mental images serve as surrogates for real pictures, the researchers hypothesize. And real pictures have been shown, in study after study, to make information easier to understand and remember.

2. Concrete sentences easier to read and remember.

According to some 60 years of research, concrete sentences like these are easier to read, understand, learn and remember:

• The huge gorilla smashed the bus with its fist.
• When a click beetle is on its back, it flips itself into the air and lands right side up while it makes a clicking noise.
• When a fly moves its wings about 200 times in a second, you hear a buzzing sound.
• The Battle of Trafalgar was the greatest naval victory in British history, and it was the war for Great Britain.
• [Lady Emma Hamilton] fell in love with the battered, one-eyed, one-armed naval hero and became his mistress.

3. Concrete passages more understandable.

Two professors from Texas A&M University and one from the University of the Andes tested two sets of passages.

Half of the passages were abstract:

The other half were concrete:

Researchers found an almost one-to-one correlation between how concrete a passage was and how easy it was to understand. (Sadoski, Goetz and Rodriguez, 2000).

Show, don’t just tell.

Word pictures are one of more than 6 types of concrete material to try.

To write more forcefully, editor and publisher Arthur Plotnick recommends that you use:

• Words that appeal to the senses. The most powerful words, he says, “recall sensory experience: sight, sound, smell, taste, touch.”
• Sound bursts. “Words can borrow the force of natural sounds by mimicking some of their elements. Whap. Clink. Clang. Splash. Screech.”
• High-energy verbs. “Verbs power sentences. Energetic verbs rocket them.”

It will make a big difference.

“Information is absorbed in direct proportion to its vividness,” write Diane West and Jennifer Dreyer, principals, Tamayo Consulting Inc.

And as James Fallows, national correspondent for The Atlantic Monthly, writes, “Make the important interesting.”

Learn more about concrete detail.

How can you make your message clearer with concrete word pictures?

What questions do you have about using concrete word pictures?

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